I was hoping I would be out and about by now. Certainly not as the happy-go-lucky old me, but definitely I was counting on being free to at least drive back to Milan, check my mail, collect some summer clothes, see my partner again. Alas, no. With yet another press conference (timed at 20.20 two days ago, what a coincidence, a year ago he would have timed it at 20.19) and another administrative act (in the face of the Constitution, legislative powers of the Parliament, blah blah blah) our Prime Minister, aka Ciuseppi, has extended our lockdown. To be fair he declared that on May 4th phase 2 of the lockdown will start, with some gradual reopening of workplaces, and extension of the distance frome hom one can go for a walk alone (so far 200m). He even granted the right to the residents to visit or reunite with (keeping mask and safe distance) relatives up to the 6th degree, but not friends, partners, fiancees, etc. You need to be married or have some blood relation in order to be allowed to be together. Schoos will stay shut until September. Children will be allowed to go for a walk with parents not far from the house but playgrounds will be shut. Who lives by the sea (literally) will be allowed to go for a swim. The rest will not. Every time you leave the house you will still need to carry a form containing all your anagraphics and contact details, a series of declarations that you know the rules (70 pages circa between the Prime Minister rules and those of the regions), a declaration of what on earth you are doing, which shops you intend to visit, signed and dated, to hand to the policeman patrolling the roads.
Some signs of unhappiness have started to emerge. I saw a picture of Napoli’s lungomare full of people walking on their own, face masks on. It’s not yet May 4th but people are fed up. And mostly do not understand the logic behind this decree. Many have complained about the interference of the state into one’s choice of relations, many more are questioning how they will be able to return to work if schools are shut.
Lots of categories of workers are unhappy. We have the beach resort managers, those blessed by the Gods for having been granted the right to manage beach resorts for a pittance, charging a fortune to the bathers for using beach umbrellas and chairs, without the need to participate in a public tender. They are now very worried because they won’t be able to pack beach umbrellas back to back, and will need to respect safe distance rules. Oh, I feel so sorry for them, go dig into your savings guys, or give the licence up if it is so unprofitable.
We have the bars and restaurant owners. Still another few weeks until they are allowed to reopen and, when they do, safe distance rules of two meters between tables and one meter between people sitting at the same table. So sorry for them too, they will make so much noise that they will be allowed more space on pavements and perhaps in the streets taking away space from parking islands. Is it so difficult to conceive that operating hours will increase? That maybe demand for their services will change with more people expecting to have the same meal at home, so moving to deliveries?
Then we have the hairdressers. OMG the biggest crisis during lockdown is men with long hair and women with grey hair regrowth and hairy legs and armpits. To the dismay of many, hairdressers and beauty salons will be the last to be allowed to reopen and under very strict conditions (one client per 40 msq, plastic separators between hair-washing stations, free face masks for clients, ….) on June 1st. Basically in this case it isn’t just the army of coiffeurs and beauticians who rebel, but all their clients. Almost the whole of Italy, except for bold men and DIY experts, is rebelling, to the cry of #contedimettiti (Conte resign!). Talk shows, twitter, Facebook are pulsating wildly for the hairdressers.
I have also seen pictures of the way we will be allowed to travel on the underground, trains and buses. For sure the two meters distance there is going to be lethal. The only way around this hurdle will be walking, cycling, or scooter riding (pity Ninebot is privately held). But no, even this dire situation is not convincing our government that it would be the case to allow Uber to operate in Italy. We need to suffer, after all we are a catholic country, we need to carry the cross.
Oh well, sara’ quel che sara’. Worse comes to worse I will migrate back to London. This looks less and less like the place where I want to live.
Exciting personal news for the past week. My orchids (the ones that the cleaner did not kill) have started blooming. They are obviously reacting well to TLC.
Happy to report that I am winning my personal lockdown battle against slugs and snails. I am letting them drown in beer, as the ants steal all the pellets and the cats go rummage when I pour ash around the plants. I am sparing you the sight, but let me tell you it’s been a good harvest.
And, I baked an amazing cake for a nighbour’s birthday. It was meant to be a trifle, or zuppa inglese as they call it here, but then at the last minute I turned it into a cake and that was a lucky thing. It was really very good. The decoration was not full marks but after posting the picture on twitter I was greeted by hails of enthusiasm for having produced the Hagrid – Harry cake (who knew what they were going on about, but after a rapid google apparently I baked a Harry Potter cake). Here is a picture, better the cake than the floating snails, no?
We’ve had some glorious sunny days here and I am glad to report I went for my first swim in freezing water, which was very exciting, and yet one more thing to feel grateful about. Bye for now.
